Waving her red flags
Arousing an adventure
Gripping life tightly.
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Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
MPOW #27 - Hero
"The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by." - Felix Adler
"True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost."
- Arthur Ashe
Lately I have been inspired by many and have been thinking a lot about the people who inspire me. In schools and camps, people often ask children to talk about their heroes. Sometimes, out of whimsy, I love to pull out such childhood questions and see what the answers are. For this mindfulness practice of the week (MPOW), start by asking yourself: Who is your hero? or Who are your heroes?
This is the first step. The idea is not to choose an idol, but an inspiration. Telling the difference between idolatry and admiration is a second part of the mindfulness practice. What about that person do you find virtuous? What trait impresses you? Once you pinpoint this trait or traits, see what it would take to bring that trait into your life. My heroes are people who behave in ways that I admire but have not yet found the strength to emulate myself. Grove Alexander's quotation parallels the Buddhist notion that environment is just a blink away: "Less than a foot made the difference between a hero and a bum."
After choosing your hero, this is a great opportunity to find that same behavior and virtue within yourself. It is there. You don't need to change yourself or become a better person in any way. Instead you can reveal this for yourself in the same way that a master sculptor reveals the statue in the marble. It is not necessary to accomplish the same feats as your hero, that may actually be counterproductive to your goals. Forcing yourself to do something that doesn't align with who you are is not a change, it is a form of self-hostility. Instead, focusing on the virtue and behavior. Do this gently; you are already perfect and whole.
if you want some more inspiration about heroes, see Paula Grant-LeClaire's Hero Quotations at Bella Online.
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” - Christopher Reeve
“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.” -Bob Dylan
This post is dedicated to my heroes, especially the people who have patiently taught me the things that I have been impatient in learning.
"True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost."
- Arthur Ashe
Lately I have been inspired by many and have been thinking a lot about the people who inspire me. In schools and camps, people often ask children to talk about their heroes. Sometimes, out of whimsy, I love to pull out such childhood questions and see what the answers are. For this mindfulness practice of the week (MPOW), start by asking yourself: Who is your hero? or Who are your heroes?
This is the first step. The idea is not to choose an idol, but an inspiration. Telling the difference between idolatry and admiration is a second part of the mindfulness practice. What about that person do you find virtuous? What trait impresses you? Once you pinpoint this trait or traits, see what it would take to bring that trait into your life. My heroes are people who behave in ways that I admire but have not yet found the strength to emulate myself. Grove Alexander's quotation parallels the Buddhist notion that environment is just a blink away: "Less than a foot made the difference between a hero and a bum."
After choosing your hero, this is a great opportunity to find that same behavior and virtue within yourself. It is there. You don't need to change yourself or become a better person in any way. Instead you can reveal this for yourself in the same way that a master sculptor reveals the statue in the marble. It is not necessary to accomplish the same feats as your hero, that may actually be counterproductive to your goals. Forcing yourself to do something that doesn't align with who you are is not a change, it is a form of self-hostility. Instead, focusing on the virtue and behavior. Do this gently; you are already perfect and whole.
if you want some more inspiration about heroes, see Paula Grant-LeClaire's Hero Quotations at Bella Online.
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” - Christopher Reeve
“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.” -Bob Dylan
This post is dedicated to my heroes, especially the people who have patiently taught me the things that I have been impatient in learning.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Response to Fatburger Banner
Fatburger banner in restaurant: "Do you really think man clawed his way to the top of the food chain to eat soy?" Today Keith Ferrazzi tweeted that. No offense, Keith, you’re awesome, but I’m drawn to rebuttal on this banner quote.
Full disclosure: I'm on a mostly vegetarian diet (see Why), so perhaps you will find me unduly biased. However, it is a diet that I chose after lots of soul searching and meditation. This diet is my choice and not one that I force on anyone else. I'm not saying that eating meat is wrong. In fact, strict vegetarianism is not for me, and I'm even reevaluating my current stance. So, though I offer the disclaimer, vegetarianism is not something that I follow blindly and with zealotry. Aside - Even when I ate and loved meat, I found Fatburger disgusting. My one and only burger there nauseated me. I preferred In 'N Out… though I haven’t had a beef burger in probably a year and a half. Well, enough about me…
Really, Fatburger? Really? (nod to SNL) That seems both factually incorrect and a blatant attempt to exploit a desire for dominance in order to fill Fatburger’s coffers.
Humans didn't really claw their way to the top of the food chain. If you ascribe to evolution (as I do), our species evolved at this point. If you follow creationism, we were created by God exactly at the top. If you believe something else, well, maybe my argument falls apart, but I leave it to you to decide.
The human benefit is that we have a highly developed neo-cortex in our pre-frontal lobe that allows us to make our own decisions. These decisions let us work with the mammalian and reptilian centers below, but applying more logic and reasoning. We have decision-making abilities. With these decision making abilities comes moral responsibility. Given this potent brain, we don't need to be driven solely by the impulse to consume meat.
Fine, so it’s meant to be a clever advertisement, not necessarily factually correct. But we can still look at it for what it does do. It’s similar to a quote that I see at my local market: “Vegetarian is a Native American world for bad hunter.”
I’ve noticed that some meat-eaters are bothered by vegetarians, because they feel judged by someone else's choices, or they feel a little guilty on their own. Clearly, Fatburger stands to gain by exploiting this, by exploiting a primal hunger for meat, by exploiting this primal desire for dominance. They want you to buy more burgers and will manipulate your desire to feel more powerful, even if it is by being at the top of the food chain.
Perhaps, though, the true power comes from the will power to see this for the commercial manipulation that it is. It comes from the ability to choose, and to see meat consumption as a choice, and perhaps not the best choice for a human-sustainable ecology. Perhaps real power comes from being able to think beyond yourself, beyond your appetite, beyond your own need for power, and to adhere to decisions that support the rest of the world.
I am not for vegetarianism as tree-huggerism, frou-frouism, or a source of identity. I am for conscious decisions that promote a better, more sustainable world. I suspect that less dining at Fatburger would go some way in that direction.
Full disclosure: I'm on a mostly vegetarian diet (see Why), so perhaps you will find me unduly biased. However, it is a diet that I chose after lots of soul searching and meditation. This diet is my choice and not one that I force on anyone else. I'm not saying that eating meat is wrong. In fact, strict vegetarianism is not for me, and I'm even reevaluating my current stance. So, though I offer the disclaimer, vegetarianism is not something that I follow blindly and with zealotry. Aside - Even when I ate and loved meat, I found Fatburger disgusting. My one and only burger there nauseated me. I preferred In 'N Out… though I haven’t had a beef burger in probably a year and a half. Well, enough about me…
Really, Fatburger? Really? (nod to SNL) That seems both factually incorrect and a blatant attempt to exploit a desire for dominance in order to fill Fatburger’s coffers.
Humans didn't really claw their way to the top of the food chain. If you ascribe to evolution (as I do), our species evolved at this point. If you follow creationism, we were created by God exactly at the top. If you believe something else, well, maybe my argument falls apart, but I leave it to you to decide.
The human benefit is that we have a highly developed neo-cortex in our pre-frontal lobe that allows us to make our own decisions. These decisions let us work with the mammalian and reptilian centers below, but applying more logic and reasoning. We have decision-making abilities. With these decision making abilities comes moral responsibility. Given this potent brain, we don't need to be driven solely by the impulse to consume meat.
Fine, so it’s meant to be a clever advertisement, not necessarily factually correct. But we can still look at it for what it does do. It’s similar to a quote that I see at my local market: “Vegetarian is a Native American world for bad hunter.”
I’ve noticed that some meat-eaters are bothered by vegetarians, because they feel judged by someone else's choices, or they feel a little guilty on their own. Clearly, Fatburger stands to gain by exploiting this, by exploiting a primal hunger for meat, by exploiting this primal desire for dominance. They want you to buy more burgers and will manipulate your desire to feel more powerful, even if it is by being at the top of the food chain.
Perhaps, though, the true power comes from the will power to see this for the commercial manipulation that it is. It comes from the ability to choose, and to see meat consumption as a choice, and perhaps not the best choice for a human-sustainable ecology. Perhaps real power comes from being able to think beyond yourself, beyond your appetite, beyond your own need for power, and to adhere to decisions that support the rest of the world.
I am not for vegetarianism as tree-huggerism, frou-frouism, or a source of identity. I am for conscious decisions that promote a better, more sustainable world. I suspect that less dining at Fatburger would go some way in that direction.
Monday, August 03, 2009
MPOW #26 - Nadi Sodhana - Alternating Nostril Breathing
"Breathe. Breathe in the air.
Don't be afraid to care." -Pink Floyd
If I only have a few moments alone to find calm and center myself, I often turn to nadi sodhana, or alternating nostril breathing. "Yogis believe that this exercise will clean and rejuvenate your vital channels of energy, thus the name nadi sodhana (purification of nadis or channels)." From the Yoga Infocenter. For this mindfulness practice of the week, try out this millenia-old breathing technique.
Along with being calming and centering, this technique is often revitalizing. It is balancing. I love to use it on a bus or plane ride, first thing in the morning, or before drifting off to sleep. I also used it between interviews while I was interviewing for my current job. And while out salsa or tango dancing, I will center myself with it during breaks.
The Practice
I describe this technique from the perspective of a right hand, but it is possible to use either the left hand, or anything else that can block your nostrils if the right hand will not work for you.
1. Find a comfortable position with spine erect.
2. Hold your right hand in front of your face, palm facing you.
3. Put your middle and index fingers together, touching them lightly in the center of your forehead. Your thumb and ring fingers should rest on your right and left nostrils, respectively.
4. Use your ring finger to close your left nostril, then inhale slowly and steadily through your right nostril.
5. At the end of your inhalation, release your left nostril while using your thumb to close your right nostril, then exhale slowy and steadily through your left nostril.
6. Inhale slowly and steadily through your left nostril, keeping your right nostril closed.
7. Switch nostrils, and exhale through your right nostril.
Each inhalation starts on one side, and the exhalation completes on the other side. Keep alternating bath and forth. Keeping track of the same breathing count on each side is an excellent technique to keep yourself patient and maintain steady breathing.
Fun Diversion
As you practice this, you will likely notice that one nostril is more open than the other. Yogic traditions have found that the open nostril switched roughly every 108 minutes throughout the day. It will be easier to breath on the right side for 108 minutes, then at the transition equally easy to breath on both sides, then switches over to the left for 108 minutes, going back and forth. It is said that when the left side is freer, this is a more outwardly energetic and excited time, the yang side. When the right side breathed easily, this is a calmer side of your day, the yin side.
This breathing pattern brings the two sides into equilibrium. Laying on your right side encouraging your right nostril to open more, and laying on your left side encourages your left nostril to open more. You can use this information to assist you in going to sleep or awakening.
You might want to play with this yourself to see what you can learn from it.
Don't be afraid to care." -Pink Floyd
If I only have a few moments alone to find calm and center myself, I often turn to nadi sodhana, or alternating nostril breathing. "Yogis believe that this exercise will clean and rejuvenate your vital channels of energy, thus the name nadi sodhana (purification of nadis or channels)." From the Yoga Infocenter. For this mindfulness practice of the week, try out this millenia-old breathing technique.
Along with being calming and centering, this technique is often revitalizing. It is balancing. I love to use it on a bus or plane ride, first thing in the morning, or before drifting off to sleep. I also used it between interviews while I was interviewing for my current job. And while out salsa or tango dancing, I will center myself with it during breaks.
The Practice
I describe this technique from the perspective of a right hand, but it is possible to use either the left hand, or anything else that can block your nostrils if the right hand will not work for you.
1. Find a comfortable position with spine erect.
2. Hold your right hand in front of your face, palm facing you.
3. Put your middle and index fingers together, touching them lightly in the center of your forehead. Your thumb and ring fingers should rest on your right and left nostrils, respectively.
4. Use your ring finger to close your left nostril, then inhale slowly and steadily through your right nostril.
5. At the end of your inhalation, release your left nostril while using your thumb to close your right nostril, then exhale slowy and steadily through your left nostril.
6. Inhale slowly and steadily through your left nostril, keeping your right nostril closed.
7. Switch nostrils, and exhale through your right nostril.
Each inhalation starts on one side, and the exhalation completes on the other side. Keep alternating bath and forth. Keeping track of the same breathing count on each side is an excellent technique to keep yourself patient and maintain steady breathing.
Fun Diversion
As you practice this, you will likely notice that one nostril is more open than the other. Yogic traditions have found that the open nostril switched roughly every 108 minutes throughout the day. It will be easier to breath on the right side for 108 minutes, then at the transition equally easy to breath on both sides, then switches over to the left for 108 minutes, going back and forth. It is said that when the left side is freer, this is a more outwardly energetic and excited time, the yang side. When the right side breathed easily, this is a calmer side of your day, the yin side.
This breathing pattern brings the two sides into equilibrium. Laying on your right side encouraging your right nostril to open more, and laying on your left side encourages your left nostril to open more. You can use this information to assist you in going to sleep or awakening.
You might want to play with this yourself to see what you can learn from it.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
MPOW #25 - Pain
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." - Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
As I sank deeply into a long held pose in yoga, I felt an intensity in my hips that pointed to muscle blockage, often a flag of an emotional blockage or unresolved pain. Through this, it is so obvious to know the relationship of who we are. It's beautiful that rather than a body with a mind, or a mind with a body, or a spirit with both, we are more complete than that. Several aspects compose into the whole that is us, though none of it is "us" in itself, and anything can change and still be us. I witness four aspects: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Developing these aspects together is vital for an existence of Balance and Moderation.
Often we have a difficult time balancing these, and instead focus on the one with which we identify. Depending on the nature of your identification, you may find focusing on it as easy or fun, or you may find it as a futile uphill battle to plug an insecurity in that area. For instance on the latter, my friend recently told me about a personal growth seminar where there was a multi-PhD Nobel laureate who just realized that he spent his life trying to prove his intelligence after being told he was stupid at a young age. Realizing this and freeing himself from it allows him to be joyful with his achievements and step down off the treadmill of frustration. Either way, there's nothing wrong with such identification, which provides an opportunity for mindfulness and personal growth.
We all know about physical pain, and we've begun to understand pain as a metaphor for our emotional states. These two types of pain are often what hold us back from spiritual transcendence. I see the four dimension shapes as more of a tetrahedron (3-sided pyramid) with the physical, emotional, and intellectual forming the base that the spiritual rests above. When we are unbalanced in the base, when there are acute issues (pains) in the base, it pulls us away from the spirituality in the top.
We all know about physical pain, and we've begun to understand pain as a metaphor for our emotional states. These two types of pain are often what hold us back from spiritual transcendence. I see the four dimension shapes as more of a tetrahedron (3-sided pyramid) with the physical, emotional, and intellectual forming the base that the spiritual rests above. When we are unbalanced in the base, when there are acute issues (pains) in the base, it pulls us away from the spirituality in the top.
Eckhart Tolle defines the painbody concept as "an accumulation of old emotional pain...that part of us that is addicted to negativity and unhappiness." Such an addiction is an important aspect to note. In Tender is the Night, F. Scott Fitzgerald notes on the alluring power of pain: "Sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure."
Mindfulness Practice of the Week
As this week's mindfulness practice, please take some time to explore your pains gently and curiously. It will not always be joyful, though I hope you will find it sublime in other ways. Find a physical sensation that is tight and stretch into that (perhaps with a yoga position). A hip stretch or a hamstring stretch is often ripe for this exercise.
As this week's mindfulness practice, please take some time to explore your pains gently and curiously. It will not always be joyful, though I hope you will find it sublime in other ways. Find a physical sensation that is tight and stretch into that (perhaps with a yoga position). A hip stretch or a hamstring stretch is often ripe for this exercise.
My Experience
In MPOW #19 - Exploring Your Edge, I wrote about downward-facing pigeon pose (Adho Mukha Kapotasana). I write about this a lot because it is extremely powerful for me. My hips are probably the least flexible part of my body. A lifetime of overusing my legs has led to very tight legs and hips, and all of my dancing doesn't help! I remember my first yin yoga class primarily because of the pigeon pose. I did not get very deep, and we held this for a long time. I couldn't wait to get out of it, there was so much pain in my hips (but not in my knees, danger danger). Yogini Saiko was gentle and affirming, reminding the room that we didn't need to get to a particular place, we were already there. This moment on the yoga mat, in this pose was our gift to ourselves. As long as we were in this pose, we would gain benefit especially if we could breath normally and stop fidgetting. This was only going to be a short time, so opening up to it was only temporary, but the benefit would be forever. I felt so much pain in my tight hips trying to open that I'm surprised that I heard. Likely this was because I was listening intently for the signal to leave this crazy pose. It felt like forever. It was really 7 minutes. Then, when I thought that we were there, she had us thread the needle to one side. oh my gosh! It went even deeper! I started to meditate on the pain. My entire universe was filled with pain. Eventually, I because the pain itself. This was when it stopped hurting. It's hard to feel pain when that's what you are. You are the pain being inflicted on another body. Eventually, and this was one of the most transcendental experiences that I've ever had, I became pure awareness that was watching the pain and the body from a removed place off to the side. I was witness to pain and stretching, to opening.
When we eventually transitioned to the other leg, I spent a moment experiencing pain again. As I breathed into the pain in the hips, it just deepened and deepened. The pain washed over me. Though, the pilot light was already lit, and my awareness became free of pain and body. I find that the more I experience these states, my mind and body remember how to return to them.
The hips are said to store a lot of emotional pain and stress, and that the process of stretching the hips brings this to the surface. When all of the pains release as one, we may raise to our spiritual existence. Once I became happy with my progress, I returned to my body and the pain returned to it. Ahh, that was conceit, a trapping of the ego. That isn't the goal. Rewarding and loving yourself and others is the goal. The transcendence and complete opening can only come when you don't want it, though have prepared yourself for it.
In MPOW #19 - Exploring Your Edge, I wrote about downward-facing pigeon pose (Adho Mukha Kapotasana). I write about this a lot because it is extremely powerful for me. My hips are probably the least flexible part of my body. A lifetime of overusing my legs has led to very tight legs and hips, and all of my dancing doesn't help! I remember my first yin yoga class primarily because of the pigeon pose. I did not get very deep, and we held this for a long time. I couldn't wait to get out of it, there was so much pain in my hips (but not in my knees, danger danger). Yogini Saiko was gentle and affirming, reminding the room that we didn't need to get to a particular place, we were already there. This moment on the yoga mat, in this pose was our gift to ourselves. As long as we were in this pose, we would gain benefit especially if we could breath normally and stop fidgetting. This was only going to be a short time, so opening up to it was only temporary, but the benefit would be forever. I felt so much pain in my tight hips trying to open that I'm surprised that I heard. Likely this was because I was listening intently for the signal to leave this crazy pose. It felt like forever. It was really 7 minutes. Then, when I thought that we were there, she had us thread the needle to one side. oh my gosh! It went even deeper! I started to meditate on the pain. My entire universe was filled with pain. Eventually, I because the pain itself. This was when it stopped hurting. It's hard to feel pain when that's what you are. You are the pain being inflicted on another body. Eventually, and this was one of the most transcendental experiences that I've ever had, I became pure awareness that was watching the pain and the body from a removed place off to the side. I was witness to pain and stretching, to opening.
When we eventually transitioned to the other leg, I spent a moment experiencing pain again. As I breathed into the pain in the hips, it just deepened and deepened. The pain washed over me. Though, the pilot light was already lit, and my awareness became free of pain and body. I find that the more I experience these states, my mind and body remember how to return to them.
The hips are said to store a lot of emotional pain and stress, and that the process of stretching the hips brings this to the surface. When all of the pains release as one, we may raise to our spiritual existence. Once I became happy with my progress, I returned to my body and the pain returned to it. Ahh, that was conceit, a trapping of the ego. That isn't the goal. Rewarding and loving yourself and others is the goal. The transcendence and complete opening can only come when you don't want it, though have prepared yourself for it.
Monday, July 06, 2009
MPOW #24 - Witnessing Self-Judgment
“Our opinions of ourselves actually get in the way of being ourselves.” -Jon Kabat-Zinn, 2007
My friend and fellow salsa and tango dancer recently shared this. It's such a simple and powerful notion to reflect on. For fun, I'll look at it in the context of a dance class. A dance class can often function as a individual or couples therapy, and like any really effective therapy session often involves a meditative state.
Early in a dance class series, you may already be judging yourself: "I'm too fat." "I'm too weak." "I'm not attractive enough to be here." "I'm wearing the wrong clothes and look sloppy." "I'm the best looking person here." "I'm already a better dancer than these other people; I shouldn't be here." "I'm really good at this already."
Dancing is just an idea here, and you may feel this in any class or any gathering. You quickly catch yourself judging yourself or others. Over time, you may begin to be down on yourself for where you are or over-inflate your internal image and miss opportunities. Remember that Stories Define Reality, so tread cautiously where you enter story-ground.
Sometimes, in a dance class though, if you're eager and comfortable being there, you're often in a wide-open state of learning, receptive to teaching and improvements without judging yourself. This is often referred to as "beginner's mind" or shoshin in the Zen tradition. This is an important state to cultivate at all times, no matter your skill level: "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few."
The less that you know about yourself, the less that you box yourself in to a particular definition. Our authentic selves are all limitless and expansive, the more that we form opinions or place definitions on ourselves, the tighter the box that we have created. We begin to limit our infinite nature to something that we can understand or explain. Even if we are being positive, this actually does us a disservice by both making us narrow and also less likely to learn.
The Mindfulness Practice of the Week - Witnessing Self-Judgment
For this week, take some time to explore how you define yourself. You can do this while doing something of any skill level. Likely, it is easier to notice when we beat ourselves up. So, throughout the week, take some time to do something which which you're uncomfortable, such as stripping down in front of a full length mirror, and deeply examine yourself. Are you judging? Are you noticing flaws? See if you can recognize the judgments that you can make about yourself, and let them go. What do you notice as you do this? What are the concepts that you repeat.
Be gentle with yourself as you notice these things. In From Self-Judgment to Being Ourselves Dianna Winston reminds us how normal it is to engage in this comparison:
See if you can let them evaporate and just be Comfortable with What Is.
This post is dedicated to my friend and dancing psychologist Solomon Kurz.
My friend and fellow salsa and tango dancer recently shared this. It's such a simple and powerful notion to reflect on. For fun, I'll look at it in the context of a dance class. A dance class can often function as a individual or couples therapy, and like any really effective therapy session often involves a meditative state.
Early in a dance class series, you may already be judging yourself: "I'm too fat." "I'm too weak." "I'm not attractive enough to be here." "I'm wearing the wrong clothes and look sloppy." "I'm the best looking person here." "I'm already a better dancer than these other people; I shouldn't be here." "I'm really good at this already."
Dancing is just an idea here, and you may feel this in any class or any gathering. You quickly catch yourself judging yourself or others. Over time, you may begin to be down on yourself for where you are or over-inflate your internal image and miss opportunities. Remember that Stories Define Reality, so tread cautiously where you enter story-ground.
Sometimes, in a dance class though, if you're eager and comfortable being there, you're often in a wide-open state of learning, receptive to teaching and improvements without judging yourself. This is often referred to as "beginner's mind" or shoshin in the Zen tradition. This is an important state to cultivate at all times, no matter your skill level: "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few."
The less that you know about yourself, the less that you box yourself in to a particular definition. Our authentic selves are all limitless and expansive, the more that we form opinions or place definitions on ourselves, the tighter the box that we have created. We begin to limit our infinite nature to something that we can understand or explain. Even if we are being positive, this actually does us a disservice by both making us narrow and also less likely to learn.
The Mindfulness Practice of the Week - Witnessing Self-Judgment
For this week, take some time to explore how you define yourself. You can do this while doing something of any skill level. Likely, it is easier to notice when we beat ourselves up. So, throughout the week, take some time to do something which which you're uncomfortable, such as stripping down in front of a full length mirror, and deeply examine yourself. Are you judging? Are you noticing flaws? See if you can recognize the judgments that you can make about yourself, and let them go. What do you notice as you do this? What are the concepts that you repeat.
Be gentle with yourself as you notice these things. In From Self-Judgment to Being Ourselves Dianna Winston reminds us how normal it is to engage in this comparison:
The Buddha had a word for comparison, the word màna, which means pride or ego or thinking too much about ourselves. A lot of our judgments say “I’m greater than, I’m lesser than, or I’m equal to this or that,” and this is just màna— pride or ego coming up in the mind. The thing that I find so interesting about màna is that 2500 years ago, when the Buddha was alive, people were judging themselves just as much as we do now. They were judging others, and comparing everything. When I remember this I think, “Oh, actually ‘comparing mind’ is normal. Everybody does it.”
See if you can let them evaporate and just be Comfortable with What Is.
This post is dedicated to my friend and dancing psychologist Solomon Kurz.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
On Twitter @edgessey
I'm definitely not bleeding edge nor even an early adopter on this tide. However, I've finally joined Twitter, over two months after Oprah. I'm not really sure what I'll get out of it, and that's actually the largest motivation. I've been reading (e.g. Clay Shirky's Here Comes Everybody), talking with friends, and watching from the sidelines to try to figure out the benefits and what this is all about. The most compelling argument so far has been: "you need to try it to really get it."
Some people have expressed interest in following me, including an anonymous commenter on this blog. Being that my primary goal is to contribute to my sangha (sanskrit, basically meaning community, the community to which one shares), and Twitter is a good way to reach people in short bursts, I suspect and hope that this may be a great stream for it. Many of the same goals from Why I Blog apply here, too.
My Twitter Profile Follow me @edgessey
What I'll Tweet
Between blog posts, I write lots of notes about what to post, collect lots of quotations, start on lots of ideas that either never make it to the blog or are sitting as drafts to later be published. Some of these are short bites that strike me in some way. These will likely be the types of things that I post. The sparks that move me, but I don't quite have enough meat for a blog post.
Looking around Twitter, I see that people talk about themselves, what they're doing, bits of news, restaurant micro-reviews, etc. Just like there are so many things to cover in a blog, there are also infiinite things to cover on Twitter. My tweets will likely be morsels that I find wise, profound, inspiring, inspired, , moving, beautiful, heartfelt, sublime, earnest, or pognantly hilarious.
I look forward to seeing where this goes. I hope that you choose to follow me and steer me in directions that are interesting to you, too.
This post is dedicated to Josh Phillips, bleeding edge maestro, who finally convinced me to join Twitter.
Some people have expressed interest in following me, including an anonymous commenter on this blog. Being that my primary goal is to contribute to my sangha (sanskrit, basically meaning community, the community to which one shares), and Twitter is a good way to reach people in short bursts, I suspect and hope that this may be a great stream for it. Many of the same goals from Why I Blog apply here, too.
My Twitter Profile Follow me @edgessey
What I'll Tweet
Between blog posts, I write lots of notes about what to post, collect lots of quotations, start on lots of ideas that either never make it to the blog or are sitting as drafts to later be published. Some of these are short bites that strike me in some way. These will likely be the types of things that I post. The sparks that move me, but I don't quite have enough meat for a blog post.
Looking around Twitter, I see that people talk about themselves, what they're doing, bits of news, restaurant micro-reviews, etc. Just like there are so many things to cover in a blog, there are also infiinite things to cover on Twitter. My tweets will likely be morsels that I find wise, profound, inspiring, inspired, , moving, beautiful, heartfelt, sublime, earnest, or pognantly hilarious.
I look forward to seeing where this goes. I hope that you choose to follow me and steer me in directions that are interesting to you, too.
This post is dedicated to Josh Phillips, bleeding edge maestro, who finally convinced me to join Twitter.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Haiku #6 - On the Bus
Rush hour herds workers
Throught knots. Crossing a bridge, we
Look from screens--serene.
Throught knots. Crossing a bridge, we
Look from screens--serene.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
MPOW #23 - Your Spiritual Task
Once you understand your basic Buddhist Personality Type, you can use this as a vehicle for awakening. I refer again to the Which Buddhist Personality Type Are You? quiz from Tricycle: The Buddhist Review magazine. If you haven't read this already, it's quick, easy, and a bit fun, too. The article defines custom mindfulness practices for each type.
This week, mindfully take at least one small step on your spiritual task each day. We are all created different from each other and no single personality type truly defines. We also change from moment to moment. The personality type is not meant to completely define you. It simply serves as a guide on your path of awakening, or a helpful tool to increase your mindfulness. Have fun with it and bring yourself a little bit closer to your edge.Each type has a spiritual task to accomplish. The spiritual task of the greedy type is to transform the desire for sense objects into a desire to know the Three Jewels: Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Greedy types need to balance their optimism with an awareness of suffering. Practices that can help the greedy type include: contemplation of old age, sickness, death, and impermanence, meditation on the 32 parts of the body; generosity; renunciation; noticing the ending of experiences; putting oneself in uncomfortable, unpleasant situations (in order to become disenchanted with sense pleasures); slowing down; and taking the Three Refuges.
The spiritual task of the aversive type is to transform the critical mind through wisdom and insight. Aversive types need to learn to relax, question their beliefs about being “right,” and notice joy in addition to suffering. Practices for the aversive type are: lovingkindness, compassion, mindfulness of mind, humor, faith, patience, open awareness, and putting oneself in pleasant surroundings in order to soften the heart and connect with life.
The spiritual task of the deluded type is to transform spaciousness into a state of rooted equanimity. Deluded types need to learn how to reel in their minds. Practices useful for a deluded type include: noting (labeling); mindfulness of the hindrance of doubt; body awareness; somatic experiencing; qigong or yoga; precision; mindfulness of the earth element, and putting oneself in safe and pleasant surroundings to prevent dissociation.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
MPOW #22 - "Gain and victory to others; loss and defeat to myself."
"Gain and victory to others; loss and defeat to myself." - Tibetan Buddhist saying
Pema Chodron explains this powerful slogan to cultivate generosity and vulnerability in Start Where You Are. This writing borrows a lot from that and from my own experience using it this past week. The slogan definitely needs some explaining. A big part of the Words Are Powerful observation is that words are often overloaded or miscommunicated, and this quotation particularly so.
Loss and defeat to myself does not mean to extend an invitation to the world to attack you with slings and arrows. It is not encouragement to submit to having your bones broken and head kicked in. It is a reminder to allow your armor to come down and let yourself feel vulnerable. Every time that something hurts us, including emotionally, we have the tendency to fly, fight, or fortify. Likely this comes from the reptilian center of our brain's fight-or-flight response. Perhaps when we are socially ostracized, we feel that we are going to die. I recently heard Keith Ferrazzi (author of Never Eat Alone and recently Who's Got Your Back) deliver a presentation with vulnerability as a major theme. He spoke about how the feeling of sudden death due to embarrassment--"oh, I could just die"--likely has childhood roots. As young children, we are entirely dependent on our parents and guardians. If we are embarrassed, the mammalian centers of our brains fear rejection that will exclude us from this circle upon which we completely rely, which may leave us without sustenence and loving connection. So, from a young age, we have built up a response to treat even emotional dings from social slights as physical threats.
So, from youth, we build up an armor, layers and layers of constricting mail, a helmet, a shield, gloves, and boots. Every time we put up another shield, it makes our world a little smaller, every layer makes us a little more removed from the world as it is. Our protection in response to our fears makes a weaker version of ourselves hiding in a shell. It's not a bad thing; it's a trade-off. Though, it is a trade-off that makes us less and less flexible, our perspective more and more narrow, and removes the expansive potential of our world. Another thing that we learn over time, is that this defense isn't reliable. It doesn't really work. There's always a chink in the armor, or a time when it's down; we let it down sometimes when we connect with others. Then, we accidentally get hurt only to return to the armory for renewed fortifications to avoid being hurt. And this may work for another week or two.
There's an alternative. For your mindfulness practice, discover your armor, the ways that you protect yourself. See if you can peel off the armor and be as you are. Intentionally and methodically allow yourself to be vulnerable. Challenge your comfort to go out into the world without armor and experience it naturally. Allow yourself to realize that you can survive loss and defeat.
During this time of vulnerability, you have an excellent opportunity to cultivate your generosity. Rather than using your energy to inflate yourself at the expense of others, do the opposite. Put your energy into helping others win. Celebrate their victories. There are many things to notice. Here are three of them that I find curious and charming. First, of the six point seven billion people in the world, there are a lot more victories and gains to celebrate than if you only celebrate your own. The second is that you come to realize your connectedness with others, you find a unity in humanity. The third one is ironic, working toward the gain and victory of others often brings positivity back to you in as possibly a karmic effect of "no good deed goes unrewarded." Be careful of the trap here, though. Remember loss and defeat unto yourself, the point is the gain and victory unto others, not funding your own karmic bank.
For this week's mindfulness practice, keep that slogan in mind through your day and through your actions. This vulnerability is a sweet and elegant thing. It's what I mean when I wrote On Cracking Creme Brulee.
This post is dedicated to my friend Mariko Hosokawa, who loves creme brulee, She is as charmingly vulnerable as can be, every bit of her essence is the creme brulee that she loves so much.
Pema Chodron explains this powerful slogan to cultivate generosity and vulnerability in Start Where You Are. This writing borrows a lot from that and from my own experience using it this past week. The slogan definitely needs some explaining. A big part of the Words Are Powerful observation is that words are often overloaded or miscommunicated, and this quotation particularly so.
Loss and defeat to myself does not mean to extend an invitation to the world to attack you with slings and arrows. It is not encouragement to submit to having your bones broken and head kicked in. It is a reminder to allow your armor to come down and let yourself feel vulnerable. Every time that something hurts us, including emotionally, we have the tendency to fly, fight, or fortify. Likely this comes from the reptilian center of our brain's fight-or-flight response. Perhaps when we are socially ostracized, we feel that we are going to die. I recently heard Keith Ferrazzi (author of Never Eat Alone and recently Who's Got Your Back) deliver a presentation with vulnerability as a major theme. He spoke about how the feeling of sudden death due to embarrassment--"oh, I could just die"--likely has childhood roots. As young children, we are entirely dependent on our parents and guardians. If we are embarrassed, the mammalian centers of our brains fear rejection that will exclude us from this circle upon which we completely rely, which may leave us without sustenence and loving connection. So, from a young age, we have built up a response to treat even emotional dings from social slights as physical threats.
So, from youth, we build up an armor, layers and layers of constricting mail, a helmet, a shield, gloves, and boots. Every time we put up another shield, it makes our world a little smaller, every layer makes us a little more removed from the world as it is. Our protection in response to our fears makes a weaker version of ourselves hiding in a shell. It's not a bad thing; it's a trade-off. Though, it is a trade-off that makes us less and less flexible, our perspective more and more narrow, and removes the expansive potential of our world. Another thing that we learn over time, is that this defense isn't reliable. It doesn't really work. There's always a chink in the armor, or a time when it's down; we let it down sometimes when we connect with others. Then, we accidentally get hurt only to return to the armory for renewed fortifications to avoid being hurt. And this may work for another week or two.
There's an alternative. For your mindfulness practice, discover your armor, the ways that you protect yourself. See if you can peel off the armor and be as you are. Intentionally and methodically allow yourself to be vulnerable. Challenge your comfort to go out into the world without armor and experience it naturally. Allow yourself to realize that you can survive loss and defeat.
During this time of vulnerability, you have an excellent opportunity to cultivate your generosity. Rather than using your energy to inflate yourself at the expense of others, do the opposite. Put your energy into helping others win. Celebrate their victories. There are many things to notice. Here are three of them that I find curious and charming. First, of the six point seven billion people in the world, there are a lot more victories and gains to celebrate than if you only celebrate your own. The second is that you come to realize your connectedness with others, you find a unity in humanity. The third one is ironic, working toward the gain and victory of others often brings positivity back to you in as possibly a karmic effect of "no good deed goes unrewarded." Be careful of the trap here, though. Remember loss and defeat unto yourself, the point is the gain and victory unto others, not funding your own karmic bank.
For this week's mindfulness practice, keep that slogan in mind through your day and through your actions. This vulnerability is a sweet and elegant thing. It's what I mean when I wrote On Cracking Creme Brulee.
This post is dedicated to my friend Mariko Hosokawa, who loves creme brulee, She is as charmingly vulnerable as can be, every bit of her essence is the creme brulee that she loves so much.
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